Why we need to stop setting goals based on a negative view of ourselves

 I can’t eat that

I’m too fat

I’m too weak

I just don’t have any will power

I’m just not fit enough

I’m too old 

I have a slow metabolism

 If I could just  weigh under/over  ??kg

I should be a size 

I’ll never look like him/her

Ill be happier when ……………………?? 

I could go on and on the list is endless in how we view ourselves negatively comparing to others or our perceived view of where we should be.  A should that more often than not we don’t really have any basis for assuming.  We just step back and think we have let ourselves down because we couldn’t do something .  Be it lift a certain weight , or have a certain body composition. We don’t look at all the different reasons or background , we don’t look at the steps to achieve it we just look at ourselves negatively. We just beat ourselves up for not being there now . 

The problem is you cannot hate yourself lean or fit or strong. If we could I know the years of self esteem issues I struggled with would have me to the Olympics by now!  Positivity leads to better results (fact) , going at things with a more focussed positive outlook leads to achievement. Your  goals become more attainable  as you believe in yourself and are more open to the process of getting where you want to be.

Thinking negatively effects  your motivation and mood , who’s going to give their all when they are feeling shit? Negative thinking can also effect stress hormones like cortisol which do not have a positive effect on fat loss , training , sleep or general well being .  Negative thoughts can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and a cycle of stress and feelings of failure. 


Believing you can or you can’t can be the difference between success and failure . Think about setting up for a lift in the gym if you second guess yourself or think you are going to miss that lift , its already missed. Think about feeling fat and low about your body , typically what food choices do you make? Not positive. You either restrict yourself to lose weight then end up binging or go fuck it I feel like crap I’m going to eat crap . Negative breeds negative. You cannot negative think yourself happy .


Setting yourself a physical benchmark to achieve an emotional state does not address the real issue which is inside, your emotional health and self acceptance. Saying you want to lose 5 kg and you will be happier doesn’t tend to work for several reasons

  1. The issue of your happiness is more than a number on a scales
  2. If you reach it and you are still not happy what then?
  3. You only lose 3 kg and disregard all your success just because you didn’t hit the target of 5 therefore you are a failure.
  4. You restrict your food intake and over train to acheive the goal too quickly and then struggle to maintain

Hating your body won’t help you improve it.  Setting unrealistic unattainable goals won’t help you feel happier.

BRAND NEW HEALTH AND FITNESS TIP RIGHT HERE – Lets chill the fuck out a little ?

How about looking in the mirror at ourselves  and saying you are good enough just the way you are . You may not believe it at first but saying positive happy phrases and thinking positive thoughts about yourself will slowly help you to realise that you are good enough.  A weight on a scales or barbell or likes on a selfie do not equate happiness . 

I know it’s a scary thought to actually accept but what if you LOVED YOURSELF? Every bit of yourself? Just as you are right now .  No ifs ands or buts ( aside from the one butt , that you should love just as it is!) 

When you start to like then love yourself the process of setting health and fitness goals becomes a lot more fun, exciting and achievable. Now you are doing it because you love yourself. Because you are good enough and deserve to be healthy fit and strong for life. 


Now you can set smart goals which can change grow and develop with you. You can find an activity or training that you love! Find a nutrition plan or coach that you trust and provides you with the tools to create a long term sustainable way of eating for you that’s healthy physically and emotionally. Set a long term goal if you wish but ensure you know the habits you need to change and the process required to achieve it , set smaller goals along the way . You may find your long term goal shifts as you progress physically and emotionally. 

Goals and targets drive us forward and self improvement can be a wonderful thing, but do all of this with love for yourself not hatred. I’m not saying it’s easy; years of negative thoughts about yourself can leave it very easy to slip into that way of thinking, but take the time to work on your emotional well being. Focussing on the positives about yourself inside and and out can be a hugely beneficial step . Focus on taking small steps to change that you can achieve and be proud of every step you take towards a bigger goal . 

It’s all about progress not perceived perfection.

Above all please remember







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