Once upon a time there was a young girl who didn’t love herself…she looked at all the other girls and she thought they were better than her, prettier than, more popular than her.
This young girl grew into a young woman, she respected herself, she worked hard, she looked after her physical and mental self, she began to love herself.
The young woman was so confident & happy that she decided she wanted to help other women feel this way too and so she began a journey of helping, it filled her with love and gratitude.
And then along came some other young women, one’s she hadn’t helped, one’s she didn’t even know and those young women tried to tear her down, they told people she didn’t deserve to look good, to feel good, they said she was merely looking for attention, they started to compete with her and make snide remarks about her and then the young woman started to withdraw…
The young woman was me.
The young woman is probably alot of you too.
I don’t want to have to write this blog, in fact it makes me really sad that I feel like I need to write this blog but for every fairy tale and happy ending there is always some wicked werewolf that needs to make an appearance and it’s something I feel I need to talk about.
When did women start being so fucking awful to other women? Seriously? We’re in 2016 – health, fitness, mental well-being are pretty much on the forefront of everyone’s mind.
With the rise of Social Media we see daily images of 6 pack abs, big quads and even bigger glutes. Wellbeing quotes are plastered everywhere and we are constantly talking about protecting our mental health. Men and women all over the world are prioritising their physical and mental health, they are looking in both the physical and mental mirror and they are making changes based on how they want to look and feel.
So, tell me this? Why would a women tear down another woman based purely on an item of clothing she wears? Why would a woman roll her eyes, make snide remarks or off the cuff indirect comments based on another woman’s clothing – like LITERALLY what someone is wearing??? In line with that why would a woman pass comment on another woman’s line of work or how she conducts herself when working, surely if she’s happy and not doing harm then we should all be happy for her?
I’ll tell you why:
Pure, unadulterated, messed up INSECURITY.
Insecurity breeds comparison and comparison is the thief of joy!
I went on holiday recently, it was an awesome 32 degrees, I wore a bikini (HOLY SHIT!) you know what else I did, I posted two photos on Instagram of me in my bikini (flying ma flag gurrlllll -courtesy of Mattie Rogers). You won’t believe what else I did…..I did a fucking handstand in my bikini..
STOP – THE – LIGHTS
Guess what happened then? LOADS of girls commented on how great I looked, how happy (more importantly to me) I looked, how relaxed I looked. You know I felt good – long story short it’s the first time I’ve worn a bikini and been comfortable in my whole entire life – it was actually a big step for me (see this blog for more detail) and then – as with every fairytale BOOM – snide, behind my back comment/s got back to me…
“There’s no need for her to be posting that” – “we could all have abs if we want to be miserable and eat nothing” – JAYSUS!
First things first – How dare you try and make me insecure.
Second – I’m VERY happy and I eat ALL the things.
Third – Cop on will ya and go love yourself.
Enough of that anyway, my point here is I see this ALLLLL the time, first time directly towards me but I see it on Social Media pretty much every day. There are some strong amazing women who have spoken out about it and they put it much better than I ever could so I will leave you with their words shortly. But before that I’d like to say..
I want every single women I know and especially the ones I Coach to be SO confident in themselves and SO confident in their bodies that they never have to shy away from any type of clothing, I want them to wear their bikinis with pride or their jog pants with pride or their bright pink polka dot dresses with pride and I want them to be able to do it without criticism, rolled eyes or underhand comments from other women.
We are all in the same boat and we should all have each other’s backs..
EVERY – SINGLE – TIME
We need to stop with the comparison, with the judgement, with the downright insecure bitchy comments. They don’t serve us in any way, and to those people that say the comments…honestly… when we hear them we just think ‘damn that girl doesn’t love herself’ and then we feel sorry for you.
Where we need to move to is self love, mutual love and respect, an understanding that we are all fighting our own battles and with that we support each other. We should celebrate each other, high five each other and be only DELIGHTED when we see other women rocking out in whatever they want, whenever they want because we see them happy and healthy and confident.
Like I said there are other women who can put this way better than Me, one of them being the amazing US Weightlifter Mattie Rogers and so with my rant over I will leave you with this…