I WANT BUT …..ID LOVE BUT …. TOUGH TRUTHS AND FIGURING OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
I want to be stronger …. But I just don’t have the time or the right coaching
I want to lose weight…… but I don’t have time to cook my own meals or do any exercise
I want 6 pack abs but I’m not willing to stop having my weekend wine or dramatically overhaul my training and diet? Now that sounds more like it right?
We all want a lot of things but are we willing to do what it takes to achieve them? This may sound like I’m heading on a bit of a rant or being critical , but bear with me , that’s not where I’m going !
I think we need to realise sometimes the difference between what we really want and what we think we want. We sometimes want something due to envy , admiration or just because we don’t have it, or we can also aspire to do something because we see someone else do it. We can feel instant pressure to want certain things because society or our social media feed pressures us to feel that they are important.
We assume we should want certain things or should achieve certain goals ( 6 pack abs, body weight jerk , muscle up , a promotion , popular on social media , be a millionaire in our twenties , be married with kids by 30 …endless list). We don’t really consider what it takes to achieve these things , the sacrifices and work they can take.
We put pressure on ourselves to want a whole array of things not realising that they are not our true wants or our real goals. What we really need to accept is that it’s ok not to want all these things. They do not need to be your goals . They do not and will not define you or your life.
They won’t necessarily make you happier in any way shape or form. Why? Because they are not your real priority or true goals . They are a distraction taking your attention away from achieving what will really matter to you.
The clear tell is when you “want” something and verbalise it to a friend / coach /colleague and they then tell you how to achieve it , how its possible with a bit of work . Upon hearing this helpful advise however your response is an excuse and not an excited thank you( how dare they right? They don’t know how busy you are !)
We don’t consider that if you really want something you will find a way to do it, if it’s a true goal you will be driven to finding a way and making it a priority.
I’ve learned this from years of trying to decide my own priorities and path. The more I learn and discuss goal setting with people the more this belief is cemented within me. I’m guilty of wanting but not being willing to put the graft in for certain things. I am one of those people whose seen ripped abs and thought they would be nice, then poured myself a class of rioja and sighed( then sipped happily) . The difference is now I realise my priorities and real goals and they deserve to take precedence in my mind. I will fecking work for them.
I’m not trying to be harsh in using the old Ryan Blaire quote“If it’s important you’ll find a way. If it’s not, you’ll find an excuse.” but there really is truth to this .
I don’t mean that I want to earn a million this year or make the CrossFit games next year is now my priority therefore…ILL FIND A WAY!! These goals still have to realistic. Also I realise there can be external factors that can throw us a curve ball in life and put our goals on hold.
However knowing what your real goals and priorities are can be hugely beneficial in how you approach all aspects of your life, not just training.
Too often we confuse our goals with the goals of others in a fleeting moment of unhealthy life comparison. While totally natural this can be a total mind fuck and make you ignore the things that can really help you achieve what you really want.
Goal setting is a valuable tool. It keeps us focused and driven towards an end result.
Goals can take many forms, fitness related, weight loss, job, travelling etc. . . . We all have dreams; setting goals can be the path to achieving those dreams.
So how do we turn an I want into I did?
We need to accept that every successful goal will come at the price of time attention and effort. You may have to prioritize it over your social life, curb your spending, forgo holidays etc.
You have to think positively towards the changes you are going to make. Set out smaller goals on the path to achieving the end result. If your goal seems too big or you perceive it as too difficult chances are you won’t even try. Too often we use excuses instead of finding a different route or setting smaller goals to achieve.
I recommend taking the time to consider your real goals the things that are most important to you that you believe can make a real impact in your life. Then consider the steps it will take to achieve them.
Using the SMART GOALS model can be really helpful. So pull out some paper and a pen and get started.
What do you really want and what’s the first step ?